7 days

If there were a word to define the past six weeks, it would be chaos. The kind of chaos that creeps in and dances around any semblance of organisation – mocking, taunting, challenging…

And if there were a word to define this moment, here and now, it would be fear. Not an ‘I’m too scared to jump’ kind of fear, but the kind of fear that snaps at your heels, daring you to falter, stumble and lose ground. This kind of fear makes you wonder what the hell you were thinking when you packed up your life, sold your car, moved your best friend to another state and began spending money on ways to save you money. Go figure.

This kind of fear seeps in when spending too much time with negative people. Somehow, quite quickly, that heavy energy takes hold and you are dragging your feet, even if just a little.

Seven days.

Seven days until the now drips into the past, melding seamlessly into a future unknown, and so, indescribable. But then, the future always is.

Seven days.

In the past six weeks there have been tears and laughter and disappointments and surprises. In a hazy moment on a balcony a week ago, a friend mentioned a quote. I can’t remember the words exactly, and nor could she, but in our red-cheeked glow fuelled by cinnamony mulled wine, it made the most perfect sense.

It was something like:

Sometimes it is the people we don’t know so well who can teach us the most about kindness…

And as I sat there with these two beautiful women who I know, but not as well as I’d like, it seemed so apt. They had both travelled long and far, and there we shared a single splinter of time, swapping stories about beginnings and endings and all the stuff in between. All the bustling sounds around us fell still as we laughed and spoke. Our lives converged, unplanned, in a moment much like any other. How funny that sometimes we feel closer in not knowing, than we do in knowing. We can have the most amazing conversations with virtual strangers. It is in those unfamiliar situations we sometimes find ourselves stripping back layers to expose what we may not otherwise expose. There is less at stake. We have nothing to lose really.

Ironically, we become more attuned to who we really are when our reference points are removed… or simply moved.

This same night, I also saw that some people are not so kind.

Some people get kicks out of having little digs at other people. They enjoy trying to knock them down. They find it amusing to watch others feel uncomfortable and actually go out of their way to create feelings of awkwardness. And it dawned on me this night how sad that is. I wasn’t bothered. I just felt saddened that suffering can invoke such harshness and bitterness in some people. It was interesting to sit back and observe. And walking away I realised I could finally really walk away. Who needs people like that in their life anyway – all smirking and sly? I couldn’t help but think that if people so easily speak to, and about, others with such a lack of kindness and authenticity, how must they speak to themselves?

Not my battle. Not my war. Walk away.

Such a contrast in energies. Black and white. Night and day. Light and shade.

Everything has an opposite. I guess we need to experience the unkindness of some, to appreciate the kindness of others.

Seven days. Seven days of kindness.

About a lifetime of lessons

Inspired by life. I love challenges and new experiences. On the brink of an adventure to discover, and rediscover... In the year of my thirtieth birthday I decided to throw in my job, put my money on red and take the gamble of a lifetime... a one way ticket... This blog documents my journey. Feel free to visit whenever you like, comment and follow my travels here :) View all posts by a lifetime of lessons

3 responses to “7 days

  • Jen @ Quite Simply http://jenniferhammer.blogspot.com.au/

    ‘Not my battle, not my war, walk away…’ so true Ames, sometimes we realise that some battles are not ours to fight. Some could say this is cowardice behaviour, it is not. I see it as bravery, bravery in knowing the battles that are worth fighting. That is true strength.

    • a lifetime of lessons

      Thanks so much, Jen. True – it depends on the context. Sometimes we must definitely stand up and fight. But this, for me, was more about seeing how some people like to hold us close to bring us down, so they can boost themselves up. If we can detach emotionally, we can step back and see how much healthier it is to surround ourselves with people who genuinely care for, and love us. Not those who pretend to for their own gain…

      In this instance, there was nothing worth fighting for.

      • quite simply

        True true… hence my decision to walk away and leave a fight I realised was not worth fighting for and turning attention to as you say ‘… surround ourselves with people who genuinely care..’ xo

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