A new day dawned. Golden amber rays cascaded across freshly fallen snow. My eyes opened. They opened as they had every day before, and they opened as they would for every day after.
That was the moment.
Suddenly we were standing on icy banks far above a translucent river below. We caught our breath as it stained the air in cloudy puffs. The river moved. It gushed and bubbled downward, and yet it was perfectly still. It looked the same from one moment to the next. But looks can be deceiving, for it was always moving, always changing. And no droplet of water contained within it, would ever be in the same place again. Just as the water began to flow down from the mountains above, it simultaneously reached the sea. Always looking forward, never looking back.
And as our glassy eyes watered and cloudy air fell from our mouths in elated exhaustion, I thought how that river was much like our lives. Every moment is connected, gelled together by each one that precedes. In that way, no one moment is separate from any other. And standing above that body of water I thought about how it connected us all – through streams, rivers, lakes, the oceans and finally the rain that would fall down upon us.
We moved on. My body succumbed to the forward motion – one step at a time.
One. Two. One. Two.
I stopped seeking. I stopped filling empty things. I stopped searching. It was complete surrender. And it was very different to how I thought it would be. I thought it would be profound and intellectual and that I would be full of words of wisdom and witty exchanges. But it was quite the opposite – gentle and simple; beautiful and silent. And that day I fell in love. Not in the way I imagined I would but really in love: with life and the world and my company and the moment. And that love has remained with me, and I feel that it will continue to stay. But it isn’t mine, it also remains in that moment, and will be carried by streams into rivers, and rivers into oceans where it will bind my story with yours, and all our yesterdays, todays and tomorrows. Just as I am a part of you, you are a part of me. And that is real, that is timeless.
All of this fell over me – not as words – but in a single, soundless moment. And also in that moment there was a smile, a bird sang, my feet were cold, my nose ran, someone laughed, and the sky was blue. It was the bluest of blue.
And I looked up.
An eagle soared over. Its wings held steady and it glided above a landscape so pure it felt surreal. I watched it glide for some time – maybe a minute, maybe an hour.
And as it swooped and dove on the windy currents, I realised that time does not exist. It is not real at all. There is only this moment. Only ever this moment. And if time does not exist, there is no divide between us and anything else. There is nothing between us and the ether.
The circle of life continues spinning long past our days. We are always a part of it. There is no beginning, and there is no end. Just as the sun will rise, darkness will fall. Neither is good or bad, it simply is.
This thought fluttered into the bluest of skies. Blue against white. Blue against grey. Blue against colour. Blue against me. Blue against you.
And I looked up.