the journey

the journey

Sometimes, we have to take a step back, before we can move forward. We have to go back to a place we’ve been before, to realise that we are in fact, somewhere different. And even though on the surface, everything looks just as you remembered it – it has changed, you have changed, and the world has changed.

Nothing stays the same. Everything moves fluidly, ebbing and flowing like the tide. Nothing is permanent. So you can be sure that if you feel amazing right now, it won’t last forever; and if life seems to be stacking up reasons why you can’t face another day, it too shall pass. This is the beauty of life. It is ever-changeable, temporary, and moving. Try as we might, we cannot control things. We cannot slow them down, or even stop them. And the more we try, the less control we actually have – and the more the world seems to fill us with fear, and doubt and an overwhelming need to grasp something to steady ourselves, something firm and tangible – something real. Therein lies the catch – to truly hold on, we have to let go. And when we finally do, we can move with the flow – we can trust that things are evolving just as they should, and we can discover the true beauty of stillness, and within, peace.

It’s been three months since I fell back on my feet. And just as my world expanded as I began my travels over twelve months ago, I felt it shrinking again. Suddenly I was back in the grind of work, and responsibility, and filling my car with petrol. I was wandering brightly lit supermarket aisles, blinded by choice and trying to decide which milk to buy. I was spinning my mind over possibilities – dreamt up and real, and all the sharp edges that each option presented. I wanted it all, yesterday. I came back so inspired, so driven by dreams and hopes and goals. It was all so doable. And suddenly, as my feet hit the ground, it all seemed so far away. I would lay and try and invoke the feelings that lifted me up so many miles from here, from my home. And as time wedged itself between me, and those memories, I wondered if I’d be able to remember details in one year, or two years, or ten. I wondered if here I would be able to create the same inspiration, and love for life.

And it suddenly became clear again – just as my thoughts fluttered in, I sent them spiralling back out; let it go. We can’t control it. We can shape it. But we cannot control it. We have a choice – there is always a choice – and in this case, I could charge through like a bull, or I could simply dance. We can skip over the surface of the things that needn’t consume us. We can let life carry us, on that wild and crazy roller-coaster ride that it is. We can let the ups inspire and exhilarate us, and we can allow the downs to teach and still us. We need both – they counterbalance each other. There is beauty in it all, if we choose to see it.

No matter what we do, or where we go, we carry our story with us. It is ingrained in our core, our every cell – so we needn’t worry about losing it, or forgetting it. On the rare occasions that we look back on certain aspects of our past, we may feel like we are looking back at someone else. There are things we don’t understand, things we are not proud of – but it is all part of the journey that led us here, to this point.

And it is here, at this point, I am pinching myself every single day for the love in my life, for the beauty I see all around me, and for daring to grow and move forward.

So I’m back, in this same space, where nothing has changed and yet everything is different. There are plans, and hopes, and dreams again. It’s Spring. There is new life, new growth and it’s beautiful. It follows the darkness and hibernation of winter – which too has it’s purpose. It is in winter we can regenerate, heal and fill ourselves with soft, warm, nurturing love. And soon again, light shines in and the season will change…

About a lifetime of lessons

Inspired by life. I love challenges and new experiences. On the brink of an adventure to discover, and rediscover... In the year of my thirtieth birthday I decided to throw in my job, put my money on red and take the gamble of a lifetime... a one way ticket... This blog documents my journey. Feel free to visit whenever you like, comment and follow my travels here :) View all posts by a lifetime of lessons

6 responses to “the journey

  • 1createblogs

    Nice post !

  • Michelle Mertz

    Wonderful post! Really inspiring and amazing how much you have gained from your travel. I am going through this proses myself at the moment, finding myself back home being scared of falling into old habits of the life I had before but I realised I won’t, cause I have changed, I now see so much beauty all around me, it’s been there all along but now I’m open to see and appreciate it. Take care and keep sharing your beautiful writing xx

    • a lifetime of lessons

      Thanks Michelle xx I hope all is going well – must be a big transition for you after so long. At times I wonder if I even went anywhere, it’s funny how life just rolls along. I imagine it is rolling along in Koh Chang in much the same way – right now x keep smiling and practicing – your yoga inspired me 🙂 I’ve just ordered the yin book you had – can’t wait to get it! Much love xoxox

  • Nicole

    You have no idea how much your texts mean to me. I love reading them, it makes me feel like I truly understand myself – you put words to my feelings! And today, I felt exactly like you are describing and I needed someone to remind me to let go and feel peace. So that’s what I’ll try to do. You inspire me every day!

    Hope you are well, Amy and thank you.

    XX N

    • a lifetime of lessons

      Aw thank you Nicole! You have no idea how much your kind words mean to me 🙂 I hope all is going splendidly – and you are finding space for yourself in the craziness of life … I think of our Indian adventures often. Big love and keep dreaming 😉 xoxox

  • Sharon Brooks

    Through experience, we have an opportunity to gain wisdom, which in turn can be used every day of our life. Until then… it is only words.

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