to be alone

Being alone is different to being lonely. There are a lot of people who seem to confuse the two. There are some people in relationships lonelier than some people who are single. This I know is true.

Perhaps we shouldn’t be afraid to be alone. Perhaps we should embrace it. Perhaps it has a lot to give us.

And if we really strip back the layers, we begin to see that ultimately, we are all alone…

{we are also all connected}.

We all come here alone; and in the end, we will all leave, alone. The sooner we accept this, the less of a hold fear has on us, and the more fully we can begin to live.

I’ve encountered many people who aren’t quite sure how to approach being alone. It scares them. They immediately begin looking for somebody else. It’s like they think life couldn’t possibly be complete, without somebody by their side. And they might ask you when you plan to settle down, or when you plan to have kids, or buy a house, or start taking responsibility…

{we’re not getting any younger, after all}.

And I’m wondering why they ask those questions. Is it because those are the things they did? Are we all meant to do the same thing? And if we do something different, or if our life doesn’t look the way we thought it would, or if it doesn’t mirror somebody else’s life, what does that mean?

I don’t think it matters – as long as we are happy with our choices. We aren’t all here to be the same, to do the same things, in the same order…  It’s important that we take some time to think about it though, and consciously ask the questions, instead of just going through the motions.

As long as we stay open, and live our lives in kindness, and love, then things will be, as they need to be. If we trust in ourselves, and our deepest sense of what is true, then the best way forward for us will emerge, and things will unfold as they should.

What is meant for me – won’t go by me.

At different times, and for different reasons, everyone finds themselves alone. And I believe these times are valuable. They allow us space to get to know ourselves, to process our lessons, to write a new story, to pick a new path. We get to learn something new, change direction, go somewhere we’ve never been before. When we are alone, all of these things can be explored without influence. And we get to bring all of this experience with us… and then we get to experience the beauty of sharing these things with another, whether they are a lover, or a soulmate, or a friend.

If we’re really lucky, we might get all three.

The more time I spend alone, the more I realise how far from lonely I actually am. And as I go on, the more I realise how much people would benefit from a little time to themselves…

…but then maybe some people have more to learn from being alone than others.

Just because people are alone doesn’t mean they are lonely. And it most certainly does not mean that they don’t know love…

About a lifetime of lessons

Inspired by life. I love challenges and new experiences. On the brink of an adventure to discover, and rediscover... In the year of my thirtieth birthday I decided to throw in my job, put my money on red and take the gamble of a lifetime... a one way ticket... This blog documents my journey. Feel free to visit whenever you like, comment and follow my travels here :) View all posts by a lifetime of lessons

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